Checklist riparazioni aereo [ENG], vera, purtroppo. Opzioni

[luigizanotti]

Si chiamano 'Squawk Sheets'. Normalmente, l'equipaggio, quando riscontra qualcosa che non va, lo segnala al personale di terra su un foglietto, il quale foglietto viene poi fornito all'equipaggio successivo con segnati gli interventi effettuati (Solution) sotto la voce del guasto (Problem). Alle volte, quando il personale di terra sente che le cose sono state segnalate in modo non idoneo, rispondono a tono. Purtroppo, va letto in inglese, perché se mi mettessi a tradurlo alcune cose andrebbero perse. Vedere per credere:

Problem: Something loose in cockpit.
Solution: Something tightened in cockpit.

Problem: Evidence of hydraulic leak on right main landing gear.
Solution: Evidence removed.

Problem: Number three engine missing.
Solution: Engine found on right wing after brief search.

Problem: DME volume unbelievably loud.
Solution: Volume set to more believable level.

Problem: Dead bugs on windshield.
Solution: Live bugs on order.

Problem: Suspected crack in windscreen.
Solution: Suspect you’re right.

Problem: Seat cushion in 13F smells rotten.
Solution: Fresh seat cushion on order.

Problem: Turn & slip indicator ball stuck in center during turns.
Solution: Congratulations. You just made your first coordinated turn!

Problem: Autopilot in altitude hold mode produces a 200 fpm descent.
Solution: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.

Problem: Autopilot tends to drop a wing when fuel imbalance reaches 500 pounds.
Solution: Flight manual limits maximum fuel imbalance to 300 pounds.

Problem: No. 2 ADF needle runs wild.
Solution: Caught and tamed No. 2 ADF needle.

Problem: IFF inoperative.
Solution: IFF inoperative in OFF mode.

Problem: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
Solution: That's what they're there for.

Problem: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
Solution: Almost replaced left inside main tire.

Problem: Test flight OK, except autoland very rough.
Solution: Autoland not installed on this aircraft.

Problem: #2 Propeller seeping prop fluid.
Solution: #2 Propeller seepage normal. #1,#3, and #4 propellers lack normal seepage.

Problem: Unfamiliar noise coming from No. 2 engine.
Solution: Engine run for four hours. Noise now familiar.

Problem: Noise coming from No. 2 engine. Sounds like man with little hammer.
Solution: Took little hammer away from man in No. 2 engine.

Problem: Whining noise coming from No. 2 engine compartment.
Solution: Returned little hammer to man in No. 2 engine.

Problem: Aircraft handles funny.
Solution: Aircraft warned to “Straighten up, Fly Right, and Be Serious.”

Problem: Target radar hums.
Solution: Reprogrammed target radar with words.

Problem: Mouse in cockpit.
Solution: Cat installed.

Problem: 3 roaches in cabin.
Solution: 1 roach killed, 1 wounded, 1 got away.

Problem: Weather radar went ape!
Solution: Opened radar, let out ape, cleaned up mess!

Problem: Flight attendant cold at altitude.
Solution: Ground checks OK.

Problem: The autopilot doesn't...
Signed off: IT DOES NOW.

[Sephiroth]

Alcune sono veramente stupende (quella del martello restituito all' omino, quella del topo e quella degli scarafaggi su tutte)

[Killua]

Purtroppo ci capisco poco...

[Chirisu]

Confermo sephi, quello degli scarafaggi è stupendo XD

[Made*In*Heaven]

Ahahah anche quella dei topi, si!

[Squall]

Purtroppo ci capisco poco...